Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Fan Dance

Today in my New York School of Burlesque Essential Series class, our headmistress, Miss Jo Boobs, showed us the fan dance. Feathers, I have recently discovered, are the most erotic thing I've ever experienced. (Especially when handled properly.) Whether watching someone else use them or using them myself. They are soft and luxurious, they hide and reveal at the same time and they are very flashy. If you are not aware... Miss Dixie LOVES flashy things. Rhinestones, bright feathers, glitter, and sequins are a few of my favorite things. I also LOVE touching things: hard, wet, smooth, warm ... mmmmmmmm I know what you're thinking... I'm thinking it too... I would love a Grey Goose, neat with lime.
I once heard Hugh Hefner say that with birds the males are ornate and the females drab and how he marveled at the fact that human beings are such a striking opposite to this reality of nature. I think that the work I learned today really hammered that home for me. Women are such beautiful creatures, we come in every color, shape, and size. Some of us more ornate than others - but all of us stunning in our own ways. Our bodies were designed to attract attention, our complicated minds developed to baffle, and the force of our presence meant to constantly distract. From our hair, to our delicate hands, to our smooth legs, and our dangerous curves. We are strutting, winking, undulating, preening birds of paradise. We are literally a distraction to go. I, for one, am so enamored with this feminine quality that it makes me wonder... why do men think about sex every 30 seconds? I would think it would be far more often than that... in fact, how does that poor gender even function at all?

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